The New Guy is tricky business. He clearly doesn't want anything beyond a casual summer fling. But the things he does, and says, make me feel like he is purposely shutting out his emotions. We were talking last night, and I said, I find him detached. He simply got up and stormed out. Later he texted to tell me that he indeed feels detached and we shouldn't talk of a relationship again because he is emotionally unavailable right now. He says he has too many family responsibilities on him and he couldn't and wouldn't do anything other than what his parents expect him to do.
He is a sound guy, mature, and a very deep thinker. But the possibility of a long term relationship is something that I projected on to this relationship. Otherwise, there was no possibility in reality. The connection that I felt was probably just my imagination. He was hardly interested in me. Hardly. And now, he is in no way interested in me. He is very aware that both of us are not on the same page and I don't think he is the kind who'd pursue something the ain't real. It ended even before it started.
There was one other time this happened. When I liked a guy a lot and thought there was a possibility of love and a real thing. I was honest with him and he backed out.
I have been honest to the New Guy too. He backed out as well.
This just tells me that I shouldn't be honest about my feelings. Honesty is not the best policy after all.
That aside, now I am really confused as to what I feel for this New Guy. In a way I feel like I lost another shot at love. I feel like may be he was never the right guy and I saw him that way only because of my projections. I feel sad at the same time, I feel neutral. I feel empty. I don't know if that makes any sense.
Feels like a break up without it being an actual break up of any sorts.
He is a sound guy, mature, and a very deep thinker. But the possibility of a long term relationship is something that I projected on to this relationship. Otherwise, there was no possibility in reality. The connection that I felt was probably just my imagination. He was hardly interested in me. Hardly. And now, he is in no way interested in me. He is very aware that both of us are not on the same page and I don't think he is the kind who'd pursue something the ain't real. It ended even before it started.
There was one other time this happened. When I liked a guy a lot and thought there was a possibility of love and a real thing. I was honest with him and he backed out.
I have been honest to the New Guy too. He backed out as well.
This just tells me that I shouldn't be honest about my feelings. Honesty is not the best policy after all.
That aside, now I am really confused as to what I feel for this New Guy. In a way I feel like I lost another shot at love. I feel like may be he was never the right guy and I saw him that way only because of my projections. I feel sad at the same time, I feel neutral. I feel empty. I don't know if that makes any sense.
Feels like a break up without it being an actual break up of any sorts.
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